Real Programmer

Real Programmer
 n.

   [indirectly, from the book Real Men Don't Eat Quiche] A particular
   sub-variety of hacker: one possessed of a flippant attitude toward
   complexity that is arrogant even when justified by experience. The
   archetypal Real Programmer likes to program on the {bare metal} and is
   very good at same, remembers the binary opcodes for every machine he
   has ever programmed, thinks that HLLs are sissy, and uses a debugger
   to edit his code because full-screen editors are for wimps. Real
   Programmers aren't satisfied with code that hasn't been tuned into a
   state of {tense}ness just short of rupture. Real Programmers never use
   comments or write documentation: "If it was hard to write", says the
   Real Programmer, "it should be hard to understand." Real Programmers
   can make machines do things that were never in their spec sheets; in
   fact, they are seldom really happy unless doing so. A Real
   Programmer's code can awe with its fiendish brilliance, even as its
   crockishness appalls. Real Programmers live on junk food and coffee,
   hang line-printer art on their walls, and terrify the crap out of
   other programmers -- because someday, somebody else might have to try
   to understand their code in order to change it. Their successors
   generally consider it a {Good Thing} that there aren't many Real
   Programmers around any more. For a famous (and somewhat more positive)
   portrait of a Real Programmer, see The Story of Mel' in Appendix A.
   The term itself was popularized by a letter to the editor in the July
   1983 Datamation titled Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal by Ed Post,
   still circulating on Usenet and Internet in on-line form.

   Typing Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal into a web search engine
   should turn up a copy.
    

Real Programmer

   <job, humour> (From the book "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche") A
   variety of hacker possessed of a flippant attitude toward
   complexity that is arrogant even when justified by experience.
   The archetypal "Real Programmer" likes to program on the {bare
   metal} and is very good at it, remembers the binary {op codes}
   for every machine he has ever programmed, thinks that
   {high-level languages} are sissy, and uses a {debugger} to
   edit his code because full-screen editors are for wimps.  Real
   Programmers aren't satisfied with code that hasn't been
   {bum}med into a state of {tense}ness just short of rupture.

   Real Programmers never use {comments} or write
   {documentation}: "If it was hard to write", says the Real
   Programmer, "it should be hard to understand."  Real
   Programmers can make machines do things that were never in
   their spec sheets; in fact, they are seldom really happy
   unless doing so.  A Real Programmer's code can awe with its
   fiendish brilliance, even as its crockishness appals.

   Real Programmers live on junk food and coffee, hang
   line-printer art on their walls, and terrify the crap out of
   other programmers - because someday, somebody else might have
   to try to understand their code in order to change it.  Their
   successors generally consider it a {Good Thing} that there
   aren't many Real Programmers around any more.

   For a famous (and somewhat more positive) portrait of a Real
   Programmer, see "{The Story of Mel}".  The term itself was
   popularised by a 1983 Datamation article "{Real Programmers
   Don't Use Pascal}" by Ed Post, still circulating on {Usenet}
   and Internet in on-line form.

   [{Jargon File}]

   (1997-08-29)